I’m a part of a “Man Club” (my name for it), that meets on the first Monday of every month at my friend’s house. Our second such gathering just finished an hour ago and I am happy to announce that none of us have cried yet. We get together, guided by a video and workbook with questions, to discuss matters related to manhood such as parenting, marriage, faith, work, and being the best versions of ourselves.
At one point tonight our discussion turned to practical and concrete ideas for ensuring good relationships with our children both now and into the future. We were not looking to make a list but our conversation focused on time, honesty, and making sure to tell our children that we love them. Today’s post will focus on time.
My oldest son received several model airplanes for Christmas this year and because he needs help with activities involving fine motor skills I have been helping him build the first model, a B-17 Bomber which will hang from his bedroom ceiling upon completion. I don’t have time to fully introduce my oldest son to you in today’s post but I want you to know that Asperger Syndrome does not define him but rather allows him to approach and embrace life from a perspective different than my own.
On the day we first started working on the model plane my oldest son shared with me that working on the model was a good project for father and son bonding time. Evidently, as it came out in the course of our conversation he was under the impression that things had not been going well between the two of us and we needed this time together as father and son. While I assured him everything was good between the two of us, I couldn’t agree more that spending time together as father and son was always a great idea.
We work on the model together when time allows. This involves me and my limited model building skills doing most of the work while my oldest son helps where he can while sharing with me facts and stories about B-17’s. We have a good time together until the fumes from the paint and glue force us to take a break.
Time with our children is time well spent for several reasons, some of which I will mention here.
1) Our relationships with our children are important and we must spend time nurturing these relationships. Perhaps as our children grow older a nurtured relationship will keep us close with them.
2) Spending time with our children doing something they enjoy or are interested in shows them we love them.
3) As we spend time with our children we have the opportunity to talk with them. Not only do we learn more about each other, but opportunities for teaching and learning life lessons also occur.
4) Families are supposed to spend time together. Parents and children are supposed to spend time together. In a world of busyness, time spent with our children shows them they are important to us.
Time is important, and since I only have a few minutes to post this to reach my goal of posting something every day of the week except for Sunday, I must finish this brief and perhaps unfinished post.
As parents time spent with our children is time well spent. I’m still learning this lesson after 14 years of parenting, perhaps you can learn this with me, and even teach me something along the way.